Thursday, 24 December 2009

Albay folks brave Mayon fury ‘to feed the pigs'

Manila Bulletin

Legazpi City— Living up to their Bicolano reputation as passionate lovers, Albay couples brought to evacuation centers while Mayon Volcano is threatening to blow its top have been braving the dangers of hot lava and cascading boulders, returning to their homes inside danger zones to consummate their fiery love, officials have discovered.

Triggered by curiosity as to why some evacuees have repeatedly been caught returning to their homes, local authorities here launched an investigation and discovered that the oft repeated alibi of going back “to feed the pigs” is actually a euphemism and password for making whoopee.

“So if you hear couples telling authorities in evacuation centers that they have to go back para mabaog ning orig (to feed their pigs) back home, it actually means that they will have sex,” said Albay Governor Joey Salceda.

Aside from the report of security forces tasked to evacuate those in the six-kilometer and eight-kilometer danger zones that they had evacuated the same people at least thrice, Salceda narrated that local authorities tasked to supervise evacuation centers also discovered the modus when a couple tried to get permission to go back.

Asked why, the husband said that they simply must because their pigs would starve to death if they fail to feed them.

At that point, one of the couple’s kids butted in and said, “wara man kitang mga orig” (but we have no pigs), Salceda narrated.

The official also disclosed that they have observed frequent verbal tussles between couples in evacuation centers, attributing the altercations to the lack of sex for both of them.

“We understand them because it is a biological need. The biggest punishment if you are married is not doing it for days,” said Salceda.

As such, Salceda said that when evacuations began as early as November, local disaster officials immediately ordered the setting up of at least two conjugal rooms in every evacuation center.

But the evacuees won’t do it there.

“Based on our reports, they won’t avail it. Possibly because they are afraid that they would be laughed at or teased or they are afraid of peeping toms,” said Salceda.

And since the 26 evacuation centers in Albay are now almost congested, Salceda said they are considering the distribution of entrance stubs to all motels near the evacuation centers in order to give couples their needed intimate moments.

He said they are still on the planning stage as to the number of stubs that would be procured and distributed and the number of stubs that would be given per couple.

“But one thing is for sure: we will not give the stubs to husbands because they might use them with other women aside from their wives,” the governor said.

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